Daisy Bates – Civil rights leader, that I, until recently, had never heard of. Her story is so compelling. Please go check it out, and the documentary about her life.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot – and not just during this year’s month of February.
One of the challenges that white people sometimes face is their own ignorance of history. I guess all people face that, in one form or another, and at one time or another. And, for many of us, we just don’t have real connections outside of our mostly-white circles. We don’t host events in our house that include black people; we don’t get invited to black people’s homes; we’ve never been to a black church; we don’t work with black people; we don’t have black people in our families.
I am lucky. So, so lucky. I may have started life in one of the typically insulated situations described above, but I gradually eased out of it, further and further. And, in my adulthood, I have my wife to thank for some of this, but also so many others that have guided me. I have learned from you all, and want to honor you here.
This is an unexhaustive list. It is an incomplete list, and I hope it continues to grow over time. My life is SO much richer because of all of you, and I can say that I love you all. These are in no particular order, and I’m not listing full names out of respect for privacy.
- Jamie P. : A true friend. We got in trouble together in elementary school, and found each other again in 7th grade. And immediately were sent to the principal’s office. Funny, positive, and clever.
- Shirley: thank you for helping my mom keep the house, and allowing me to pull pranks on you from time to time. Your smile and care were infectious.
- David C.: You are brilliant, and the world needs more of you. Your appearances on Comedy Central are hilarious – but you give so much more to the world, and if only more of us would follow your guidance.
- Jeannette: Thank you for hosting me in Kigali – you and your team mates waited for my delayed plane, and took me places that changed my life. I’ll not forget your ‘heyyyyyy’!
- Kim T: Not just a boss, but a thoughtful leader and supporter of my wild ideas. Thank you for your ongoing work in NYC – and I hope you and T. are laughing 🙂 P.S. heard one of your dad’s performances with Ellington on the jazz station this week.
- Brandon: Yeah, I think of you like a son, and so appreciate your friendship with our son, your quiet, gentle ways, your introspective powers and your sense of humor. Plus, you brought Jane into our lives.
- Alyce: With your beautiful Kenyan accent and sly smile, you anchored our team in so many ways – keeping us light, keeping us smart, bringing perspective and wisdom.
- Badou: I’ll not forget our times together, at the Arbre a Palabre and down on the sandy beach. You introduced me to more African history, and spoke with such passion. I hope you are carrying on good work. You helped make the colonized history real for me.
- Joe: You worked in the lab at Duke, and helped with dissections for my dad’s research. I’ll never forget your story about your son wanting a GTO. “If you want a GTO you better get a JOB!”
- Nedra: Thank you for your trust and friendship, and for making our team so much fun. Your talents span widely, and you helped me see, again, what good mothering looks like. Your kids are absolute stars.
- Jimmy P.: You beat me up on the bus, and that led me to a true reckoning. I met hate, anger, and edging violence in myself. Years later, I saw you again, and we connected. I forgave you. That was a huge gift.
- Y and O: Next door neighbors, parents of 3 kids – you helped me laugh, and *made* our neighborhood integrated. I am grateful for that.
- Michael F.: I’m so glad I had the opportunity to hire you – and to watch you develop into a successful media wizard. Attending your wedding was such a treat – and I can only imagine your life with kids now.. wow!
- Phyllis and Frank: Leaders that I’m just getting to know – and such a lovely family you have. Thank you for your trust and support!
- Myrion: Being stuck into our dorm room in 1981 was a blessing for me. You introduced me to some new media (Jet!), music, and showed me (indirectly, I’d say) that cleaning up for Sunday and having discipline in ones life is a good thing.
- Cheryl: I asked you once “What should I, a white man, do?” – or more or less that question – when we had a conversation in the aftermath of one of the murders of Black men. You patiently tolerated my question. And then you simply and wisely offered – “speak up”.
- Jimmy P: I have to thank you for pushing me into a hard life lesson about hating the circumstance, and not the person, and that forgiveness is a journey. I’m sorry for all that you went through as a child.
- Dianne: Your smart wit and call-it-as-you-see-it were refreshing AND intimidating as I started out school teaching. And you made me laugh so… and still do!
- And to the other teachers – Jeannette, Carla, Johnnie, Lawanda, Jackie and Karen – we know there is a reason why our school had better performance of minority kids. In large part, it was because of your example of strong and caring Black leaders and teachers.
I’m sure I’m forgetting some folks, and it is my deepest hope that, should they see this page and not their name, that they would take pity on me (lol) and send me some news.
Fresh Eyes 